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It was 4am and I was in no rush to wake our neighbours. Neither was Lia.“Jim! Come in a moment, I need your help,” she whispered.“What’s the problem?” I asked as I stepped inside, already guessing the answer to my question even as Lia was still shutting the door. Sure enough there she was, already in costume, her ears in place, her hair roughed up to hide the band her ears were on and also to hide her own ears, and she was wearing a simple long green floral print dress that buttoned up at the front, or it would if it was but it wasn’t. She was also sheepishly holding the problem in her outstretched hand. Her tail.“The Great Clench?” I asked, trying to help her find humour in her situation.“Oh I’m clenchy all right,” Lia chuckled. “I even tried, er, playing with myself a little, you know, to relax myself.”“How did that go?”“Oh that worked great for me, haha, just not so great for the tail. Maybe my arms are too short to reach back there?”Those arms were plenty long enough to wrap. I devoured the toast. ‘I’m really hungry. How about some of the home fries?’ ‘I’m not sure you’re ready for that,’ he said. ‘I’m starving, Jeff. Please?’ ‘No, not a good idea.’ ‘Okay,’ I said with resignation. ‘Could you get my ginger ale? I left it in the bedroom?’ He got up from the table and headed into the bedroom. I reached over and scraped some of his fries onto my plate and shoveled them down with my fingers before he got back. As he returned to the room I burped. ‘Oops,’ I said. He looked at his plate suspiciously, but what could he do? To smell my breath would be stupid. I smiled and gave him an innocent look. My stomach rumbled. I started to feel queasy. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea after all, let alone eating them so quickly. My stomach started to roil and I took off for the bathroom. I almost made it to the toilet before the lion’s share of my breakfast wound up on the floor. I remained on my knees and continued to retch for some time. As the nausea eased I felt.
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